Hey! Russian peep! Be a follower! Make yourself known! Unless theres multiple russian peeps. Then make yourselves known! Anyways, so, ive had this app on my phone. Its called slacker radio. Its basically pandora. I heard a particular song on it 'everything you want'. It takes me back to a simpeler, but majorly depressed time in my life. I was going from highschool, to bumming around, and back again. I was also dating/engaged to j. J was... Well, he was part douchebag, part sweety, typical wrong person for me type of thing. I firmly believe he cheated on me and only wanted to be with me for sex. Anyways. We have broken up, and gotten back together so many times its not even funny. I wasted 3 years of my life on him. 3 years of constant fighting , fucking and basically being rabbits. I loved that body. So sleek, tanned, and toned. But I digress. There were good times, dont let me fool you. But this song, it makes me think of him, and all we went through. ,

My plea, and some damn good sex, worked. I started my period last night. It started REALLY light. Now I make things look like a murder scene. Murder in mah pants! Woot! Feels like murder too. But update to school. We are in the third mod. First week. But there were only 2 days this week. I got all b's last mod. So my gpa is up to 2.75. Best gpa I have EVER gotten... Its not good enough. I wants more. So, if I get, say, an a and a b this mod, ill have 4 b's 1 c, and an a. Raising my gpa to 3.0. Or 2 a's which would raise it to 3.6. Which im going for... I want 3.16 cumulative gpa at the end of this mod. And 4.0 gpa for this mod.

Sigh. Can my uterus do... SOMETHING? I havent had a period since the 6th... Of october... And all my tests say negatortly. Abd no, im not mlnourished. Ive only lost 25 lbs since I gave birth. And I do eat. I have over 1000 calories aday... Mostly in soda... Sigh. Wth is going on w/ me.

So, after 20 million more tests, all negative, and NO bleeding, other than from my hemerrhoid, which was really cool, I may have to admit that I just have a wierd period again. Or... Whatever. Maybe not eating much is stopping it? Psch, I wish. Than I might be thin enough to look good. Sigh. Though I am/ was down ten pounds. In other news, recently my mothers cousins two year old son had a seizure in the tub. He is improving. A lot. But please pray or send happy thoughts please. Ta ta.

So, little spawn is 13 weeks old exactly, and tomorrow, she will be 3 months old tomorrow. So nostalgic. Im passing my classes, ive got a wondrful spawn, and a wonderful fiance, and I am happy. Maube not with my self, but with my loved ones. My great uncle is gonna do chemo, so thats good. And.. Nothing else to report really... Ok. My life is boring...

So, I still think im pregnant. My nipples are now sensitive, and im late for my period. So... One tangible symptom. Not the period thing, cause thats so easily messed up its not even funny. Anyways. Ive taken 4 tests. All negative. Well, this is important. Ive been pregnant two times before. The first time, I was feeling like this, and oh look, no posatives, and... I miscarried... So im just watching... Waiting... And from the cramps, so is my body. Or I may not be pregnant afterall... Who knows. Either way, its natures way of saying 'bad genetic code at this time' I think im gonna try to sleep nao

This morning features my 2 most hated things. Waking up, and eating breakfast... It always makes me feel self concious. And yes I realize breakfast is good for you. And im in a rush.

Tonoght I had to just set her in her crib and walk away. She then passed out 2 minutes later... I hate it when this happens.. Not just because I hate having to walk away, but also knowing that its not me she needs... And the fact that my god, it only happens when im beyond sggrivated that NOTHING will calm her down. This has happened a few times. And it always makes me sad. Not just because I get aggrivated at her, which I hate, but because it marks independance... I used to co sleep her, but all of us became unhappy with this. I used to spend every moment with her... Until I started school, now I never do... I mean, I love that she can smile now, and hold her head up all on her own... But... With her seeming to grow up so fast... What am I missing and going to miss? What does she do all day? How is her tummy time doing? Sigh... I know its not really rational but... Im feeling a bit... Sad.

My mom isnt gonna die. Also, my great uncle is. I like my great uncle... Merf. And, according to my grandma, I need to marry my fiance so my spawn will have parents.

Phone still hates me, but I think im pregnant. Now, dont get me wrong, weve used condoms every time, which I know is not 100%, check my blog post about sex ed. Anyways, I havent missed a period yet, but I have been feeling more nausius, hungry more, sleeping more, and... Ive not only been wetter down there, but ive been hornier. Lets just hope im sick, shall we?