And im sorry for that. It wasnt my intention to let weeks go by. First off, its because im so busy. Study, baby, school...not much else. Than I got sick. Pukey type sick. Than my moms medical issues popped up. She may be dieing... Yeah... So, updates on everything School, we finished the first mod. I am a 3.0 student. Woot. Im now in a&p part duex, and english. Yes, we have only had 2 classes at a time so far. Were dissecting, and we recently put down my rat (giant tumor) as a learning experiance. We no longer get a lunch break, which is fine with me, since I dont eat in social situations anyways. The spawn: shes 2 months old. 11lbs 4oz, 23.25 inches. And the pediatrician was impressed with her head holding up abilities. She is also sick... She is also kinda teething... At the same time... Yeah, its hell... My mom: about a month ago, my mom told me she had a mass on her left ovaries. It is causing her to be in pain constantly, spot, and not be hungry...the doctors told her there were 3 possabilities. 1) its just a cyst 2)its cancer and hasnt spread.and 3) its cancer, has spread, and is terminal. Now, she doesnt need this. Shes only 44. Shes already HAD cancer, and not has no thyroid, requiring her to take meds every single day to survive. Me: and part of this may be selfish. Im not sure how im taking/dealing with this... My child, I hate seeing her so sad and in pain and sick. Its heartbreaking. I want her just to be done with the teething, just so she doesnt have to feel it. And yes, a small part of that is because I cant stand the crys because their annoying. Yes, I take care of her solely because I love her, not because shes annoying, but I cant help ot. Its an annoying sound. My school. As strange as itsounds, I enjoy it. Its my break time. And spent learning, even better. Yeah, im a nerd, and prob. A bad mommt, but whatever. Let me put it this way, I love my daughter, I hate doing mommy things. But I do them,, so she can be happy and healthy. Midterms and finals are hard times for me. I break down. And finally, how I feel about my moms issues. Im... Not sure. I mean, theres a very real possibility of her dieing. I mean, what if they didnt catch it until very late and she died in her sleep? Im scared. And confused. And sad. I mean, is itwrong ofme to hope that if she is dieing, she does it quickly? Is it wrong of me to think about how im not ready for her to go? Or to start making plans of what would need to be done? I feel like something is taking her away from me. And I dont like it. Not one bit.... And I cant post content for whatever reason, so thats why this is the title